My mouth was dry, I could not speak
I shook all over like a leaf
Hands a-shake and legs like jelly
I walked with knees that were quite wobbly.
Quavering like a geriatric
(I know I’m old, but I’m not there yet),
I raised the phone to call for help,
And help arrived, I’m pleased to say,
Within the shortest time that day.
They had a look around the house,
Took statements in their little books
Then climbed back slowly in their van
And drove away with sombre looks.
Months went by without a word
And I thought that we’d hear no more
Until one evening they came back
With the culprit, cuffed secure!