Adeeyoyo's Blog

I write what I feel…

Mist on the Water

26 Comments

Mist on the Water

Mist on the water
Forest on the rise
Two canoes together
Desire in your eyes

White water river
Swollen by the rain
Thunders over rocks
Drowning out the pain

Remember when we cut
Mixed our blood together
Blood brothers we would be
And lovers forever

*

Photo with kind permission of http://bythecanonviewfinder.blogspot.com/

©DGA 08 August 2011 19:08

Author: adeeyoyo

I am a middle-aged South African woman, living in Johannesburg. I began writing poetry towards the end of May 2010. I love animals – sometimes more than people! I am back after a break. Thanks for still being here, if you are! Missed you! xxx

26 thoughts on “Mist on the Water

  1. “White water river
    Swollen by the rain
    Thunders over rocks
    Drowning out the pain”
    …. this is a clever a follow up after the last line of the first stanza. The symbolism, if I did get you right, is exceptional. delicate, evocatively suggestive and highly commendable. I am stuck up with the beauty of these lines Denise.

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  2. This would make a great song, adee!

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  3. I guess there were a lot of memories mixed up in there Denise.
    I agree the poem scans well enough to be set to music!

    John

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  4. nice…did my first white water trip when i was like 14…it is such an adrenalin rush followed by some amazing calm in the smooth spots…but beneath this you refer to brotherhood which is something very special…

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  5. That is a great poem, congratulations!

    You can add the picture to the poem if you want.

    Cheers!

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  6. That reminds me a lot of childhood. Loved this.

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  7. A very interesting layout in those first stanzas. The lovely nature memories, followed by the personal connotation. I may have to steal this. It really works.

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  8. Canoeing on inland waters is so peaceful and calming

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    • You had me at canoe Denise! I used to portage with my late husband and this made me think of the good times we had out there in our wilderness of two. I also love that you used one of Adrian’s photographs. He is a talented artist, as are you my friend. 🙂

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      • I think I was born in the wrong era, Val. It was very kind of Adrian to let me use his photo. He does have some wonderful ones, particularly of white water. Btw his umbrella photo inspired my Yellow Umbrella poem.

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    • Yes it is, Bb. I would never do it in the sea! Mind you, we canoed around Durban bay to Salisbury Island and back again, in the old days of flamingoes and mangrove swamps.

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  9. I think poem and picture complete one another. Thank you very much.

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  10. It does read like a song and it has the same rhythm as a canoe sliding through the clear water. I can feel my fingers trailing along the side of the canoe as the mist envelops the trees. Gorgeous!

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  11. this is a gorgeous picture. it makes me dream of holidays!

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